M.I.A.

As a result of alot of stress that I've been under I took a little respite from blogging / vlogging / internet / basically anything except homework, housework, and Christopher.  I'm becoming increasingly stressed out with this pregnancy and discouraged because I feel so great!  With Christopher I was tired and miserable and constantly in the bath tub because of all of my aches and pains.  This time around I would love to be out walking etc but have been put on extremely limited activity.  It really bums me out.  It also makes me sad that the end of this pregnancy might not come about how I've been envisioning it:  sitting on the couch and suddenly feeling the first contraction and having the rush of excitement of "This is it!".  Not knowing when Baby Ryan will make his appearance.  With everything that's been going on it seems he's going to be forced to make his appearance within the next week and it makes me sad.  Happy that he's growing wonderfully and he looks healthy (from the ultrasounds and NST appointments); but sad.  My pregnancy is almost over and it's bittersweet.  I'm ready to hold him in my arms but will be sad that my baby bump will be gone and back to being plain old flab.  The more I read up on my Protein S deficiency the more it seems to be linked with early onset preeclampsia or mild forms of preeclampsia.  Proteinuria (protien in the urine) also concerns me because that means my kidneys arent' functioning correctly and I wonder if it's because of the pregnancy or if there was a problem before that?  And also how does it affect Ryan?  Ugh.  Well I take in my pee jugs again tomorrow so hopefully they will be able to tell me more about what's going on.  Topeka on Tuesday.  Can't believe I'm 36 weeks already!  This has flown by...

35 Weeks Pregnant

Rawr. I'm going to eat you! ahhhh ---- KIDDING! I feel like it though. I'm huge and my hormones are psychotic (my hormones. NOT ME! ). Seriously! And I've been craving straight up junk food. Which is awful because I never want junk food. Also Ramen in the cup. Can't get enough of those highly sodium-ized things. How random is that? I'm edgy and just have to keep reminding myself to be patient with others and be nice even though I'm so grouchy. Especially with Christopher and Rob. Every little mess has me frazzled because I feel like Ryan could any time now and I want everything to be perfect!

  I *officially* have everything ready. Had to get more baby hangers for his closet. He seriously has so many outfits! I found 2 drawers of clothes that I had forgotten about and had to hang up. Also ordered a carseat canopy for him so he won't blow away in this crazy Kansas wind! Sterilized all the breast pump parts and every bottle. So we're 100% ready. Good thing -- considering he might be here next Saturday!!! At the earliest. He will definitely be here before my due date, though. Unless something miraculously changes! Nursery tour video tomorrow! Also watching Laugh and Learn about Childbirth for my romantic date with hubby this weekend. Woooo!!!


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i read about your story. i'm amazed =) i'm adopted and grateful; i think on some levels it really screwed me up....my biological mom died right away after i the whole idea of pregnant more than scares me any ideas how i can get over this?

I think pregnancy is a scary thing; regardless of how prepared or unprepared you are going into it. Whether it's planned or unplanned! Your whole life changes...but it's a wonderful change if you let go of everything and just embrace it =) Sometimes it's hard, and there will be days where it's downright miserable. Just trust that everything works out for a reason and find support; whether it's friends / family / or other mommies you meet! And definitely talk about your feelings! I think facing what scares you only makes you a stronger person! I think people who have a rougher past are also blessed...not that it's good when bad things happen... just that they give you the experience and knowledge about life that others might not ever have the chance to get. I wish you the best!!!

Life, love, kids, marriage, college, getting a job, growing up...ANYTHING! Ask away

The Longest Night Ever

Doing my 24 hour urinalysis...STILL.  I drank the fluids I was supposed to and so far have peed 4200 ml.  To me that seems like alot?  Anyways.

I'm not having a good night.  I'm totally swollen.  Homework is kicking my butt.  Ryan is poking his elbows and feet out of weird places and giving me Charley Horses in my belly.  And it honestly feels like the night is never going to end.  I feel like I haven't slept at all and yet like I've been sleeping for hours.  I went to bed at a little after 11.  Fell asleep.  Woke up at 12:40!  Couldn't fall back asleep til almost 2.  Felt like I've been sleeping for EVER...woke up....3:13!  My wrists have virtually disappeared.  I'm so swollen.  My toes are burning and itching; I think because my feet are swollen, too.  I'm having the WORST hot flashes and to top it off at 1 I was getting these sharp shooting pains 3 in above my pubic bone whenever Ryan turned his head.  I'm not sure if it was my cervix?  Whatever it was; it was excruciating and tears were just rolling down my face for thirty minutes.  My inner thighs / groin is cramping.  UGH. UGH. UGH.  Ok.  I just have to keep telling myself not much longer.  But this is the worst night.  I'm really thinking I don't have preeclamspia because my blood pressure has gone back to being low and only goes up to 135 at some points during the day.  I will be relieved once I have graduated so then I feel like Ryan can just come at any day.  I'm getting so exhausted. 

Diving In

I decided that today's the day.  Big boy underwear.  Christopher woke up this morning and I put him on the potty and then we scooted him off to his room to put on his big boy Thomas undies.  And guess what?  So far he's already successfully used the potty for #2!!  WOOHOO!  I haven't decided whether or not to try undies on him for nap-time.  But maybe that will come later on.  For the most part I just want him to go while he's awake.  Diapers / pull-ups are a killer on the budget and I can't wait to be rid of them!  Until Ryan gets here, anyway.

Sara's Hospital Bag

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The Pharmacy

Have I ever mentioned how much I absolutely HATE having to go to the pharmacy every month?  No?  Oh ok. Well I absolutely dread going to the pharmacy every month. 

Things I would rather do in place of going to the pharmacy:
-- Clean a public restroom
-- Drop a Thanksgiving turkey
-- Give up my cell phone for a month
-- Go in public without makeup
-- Listen to Reba McEntire songs for 1 hr
-- Have my toe run over by a car
-- Eat oatmeal
-- Shave off 1 eyebrow

Long story short:  I REALLY HATE going to the pharmacy. Let's break down how it usually goes.

Chase Christopher around the house.  Put on his socks and shoes.  Grab my car keys.  Purse? Check.  Wallet?  Check.  Military ID card? Check.  Put on Christopher's shoe again.  Turn lights off.  Did I leave my straightener on? ...*run upstairs to check.* (No. I didn't.) Pick up Christopher and head out door.  Go back in house because I forgot my purse.  Unlock car doors.  Put Christopher in carseat.  Listen to hysterical fit because we don't need to open the garage door.  Head to Post.  Wait in traffic at the Gate because -- of course! -- it's lunch hour.  Find a parking spot (easier said than done).  Put Christopher's shoes back on.  Haul him to the entrance to get a cart.  Wait in line for 45 minutes while convincing him not to scream at the top of his lungs, jump out of the cart, take off his shoes, or yell at the child in line behind us who's making a mess.  Walk through store for a little bit.  Christopher starts to get cranky.  Time to drive around in the car.  The park! Yes! Get to the park and as soon as Christopher's on the playground:  phone beeps.  Prescription's ready. @*$%.  Give Christopher a few minutes to play.  "Time to go!"  *Tantrum*.  Climb my 7-month-pregnant butt up to the top of the playground and haul a screaming / kicking 2-year-old to the car.  Buckle him in carseat.  "Poopies."  *Sniff*   Crap.  Literally.  Look around and decide to change the pullup outside of the vehicle as there are no restrooms anywhere.  Take shoes off.  Take pants off.  Take pullup off.  Poop on socks.  Take socks off.  Wipe butt.  New pullup.  Pants back on.  Haul upset little Christopher BACK into his carseat.  Go BACK to pharmacy.  *DEEP BREATH*  Find parking spot. HOW ARE THERE THIS MANY PEOPLE HERE?!?!  Mini meltdown.  Ahhhh...ok.  Better.  Get out.  Get Christopher. Get cart.  NO CARTS!?  Ok. No cart.  Wait in line...45 minutes.....Christopher dancing.  Christopher spinning on the floor.  Christopher pulling his shirt up.  Christopher swinging his leg and kicking the guy in front of us.  Christopher sitting on the floor.  Christopher yelling.  Christopher's mad because he saw someone with french fries.  FINALLY we're up. Get prescriptions.  Get the HECK OUT OF THERE!  Car. Drive. Home.  Get 1 minute away from home and look in back seat to spot a peacefully sleeping little angel.  Get home.  Reverse car into driveway.  Pick up sleeping little angel and carry him to bed.  Blog about how much I hate the pharmacy.... 

Total time of ordeal: 3 HOURS

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Taking a Toddler to Church

Going to church is something that is important to me.  I think it's also important that I bring Christopher along; more for the experience than the fact that he's actually going to get anything out of listening to the sermon!  But it is something that requires careful planning.  Especially if you're 7 months pregnant and can't bend over to pick tiny toys up off of the floor if he drops them mid-service!  It may be a challenge...but it's totally worth it! 

 I love when he gets so excited because the Pastor is talking or because the sun shines through the stained glass windows!  And then there are the memorable moments like this: he's ready to leave and it's the closing hym and he's belting out in the most angelic little voice ...

"ALL DONE!!! BUHH-bye. buh-BYE allllll DOOOOONEEE!!!  All done.  All done. all done.   BUHHHHH-bye" for 4 stanzas of the song and making everyone laugh.  I love it!


Our "CHURCH BAG" includes:
-- Coloring book and *crayons* (markers will be used to turn the wooden pew pretty colors...NOT GOOD!)
-- Magnet toys
-- Suckers ... he only gets them when he's sitting AND it keeps his mouth occupied.  Double Bonus!
-- "Special" Snacks that he only gets in church.
-- Matchbox cars
-- Random bracelets with fun beads from mommy's jewelry box!
-- Hair brush
-- Juice / water
-- Kids books
-- Frog Beanie Baby or anything small that they can grab like that and play "farm". 

NOT THE BEST IDEAS:
-- Stickers (thinking I could actually convince him to only stick them in his coloring book?! HA!!)
-- Crinkly textures book...you don't realize just HOW noisy it is until you're in the middle of Silence & Reflection
-- Koosh ball...what more can I say. It's a ball....balls get thrown.  This particular one got thrown 2 pews ahead of us where 2 adorable old ladies were sitting.  Whoopsies!
-- Any toy that makes noise even if you can turn it off.  Of course they figure out how to turn it on and then that's the ONLY toy they want to play with!
-- Markers. If the pew doesn't get colored, that's great!  But there's also the danger of them getting sniffed and you'll end up spending 10 minutes trying to wipe the blue Hitler mustache off of your little one's face vs. listening to the sermon.  Not that I would know from personal experience...
-- Candy bracelet.  It will get tugged on and you'll be cleaning up tiny candies while trying to keep one hand on a rampant toddler who's hysterical because his nummies are all over the floor.
--Blocks.  Your mini-me gets frustrated easily and if construction doesn't go as planned and that one block won't balance on top; all of the blocks will be up in the air...and in the pew in front of you...and behind you...

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